Punch Drunk
by RivikaStyx
Summary: What could have been going through Dean's head in the episode You Can't Handle the Truth when he beat up Sam? Some profanity. Please review this or any of my other stories.


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"What do you mean, not human?" Dean asked, looking at Veritas as she stood over Sam.

"You really didn't know did you?" Dean felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

Those words turned round and round in Dean's head as they killed Veritas and now he stands there with a knife in hand trying to determine what to do about Sam. Up till now he'd understood something was really screwed up in Sam's head, hell something has always been screwed up for a VERY long time in Sam's head, but damit Sam was acting like aliens had taken over. Now he just confirmed his worst nightmare. He had lied to him from the start, had been lying to him for a long time but this time, THIS lie was different. And he'd admitted to letting him get turned by that filthy damn vamp too. Son. Of. A. Hellhound Bitch. I almost killed Ben because of this ...

"You PIECE of shit!" he yells inside his head putting down the knife and proceeding to beat the holy shit out of Sam.

When he finally wrestled Sam's unconscious body back up to the motel room Dean sat there on the bed looking at his brother's battered face and wondered when he was going to feel guilt. _Well what do you know Sam, you and Cas don't have the market cornered on "Unfeeling Dick" syndrome. _

"Dean, without his soul Sam has no conscience. Without that barrier he'll do things that he would not normally do." Cas tried to make Dean understand Sam's actions in an effort to help ease the pain and anger that he was feeling now.

"So you're saying that even if Sam did have his soul at some point he would have considered feeding me to that smelly, greasy, fucking vamp Cas? Way to make me feel better, asshole." Cas stood there thinking over what he had said to Dean.

"Perhaps that didn't come out the way I intended."

"Really?" Dean shot Cas a sarcastic look over his shoulder. "No, I'm beginning to wonder if all the times I saved his ass, all the times I stood up for him were just a waste of time. Maybe when he said yes, all that darkness in Sam just spread, took over, and now this is simply who he is."

"The only way to find out for sure Dean is to find Sam's soul. I want to warn you though, I told you and him and that consuming large quantities of demon blood would change him. Your assumption of his personality now could in some way be the truth. I do not however, believe that Sam would have ever "fed" you to a vampire, not without discussing it with you beforehand at least, coming up with some kind of plan. And with your relationship patterns, I have to admit that if he had discussed it with you prior, I have no way of knowing what you would have said. You and your brother have done worse Dean, to yourselves and to each other. He lied to you. I feel that is what is making you angry the most." Dean stood back shocked at what Cas had just said to him.

"Just wake his ass up and do what you have to do Cas." Dean stood back and let Cas wake Sam up. Sam came up off the bed ready for a fight. He realized they were back at the motel and stopped, staring first at Cas then at Dean. He reached up to his battered face and winced.

"Wow, I forgot how hard you hit Dean." Dean nodded half turning away from Sam, looking back towards him through half lidded eyes.

"Consider it payback." Sam's eyes widened at Dean's reference of Lucifer beating him half to death at Stulls Cemetery. Cas looked at Dean a bit shocked as well, then turned to Sam.

"We can find out who has your soul but it will painful." Sam nodded.

"Like with that Aaron kid right?" Cas nodded.

"Let's do it then." Dean drug a chair into the room and Sam sat down in it. Cas rummaged through Dean's bag until he found rope and a leather belt. He tossed the rope to Dean.

"Tie his hands behind his back and his feet to the chair, he'll need to stay perfectly still while I do this." Dean proceeded to tie Sam up, Sam staring in to Dean's eyes as Dean moved to the front and tied his feet.

"I'm sorry Dean." he said frowning. Dean shook his head.

"Let's see if you feel that way once we get your soul back and you can actually feel something, 'k Sam?" he said quietly. For a brief moment, he thought he saw regret filter through Sam's eyes then Cas stepped up and moved Dean away.

"Put this in your mouth Sam, it will help with the pain." Sam bit down on the leather belt and Cas swiftly, so as not to draw this out as much as possible, shoved his hand into Sam's chest.

Sam screamed through gritted teeth and bit down hard on the belt, his hands shaking and twisting against the rope. Dean clamped down on the instant reaction to save his brother. Cas withdrew his arm and looked at Sam for a long moment. Sam opened his mouth and took a deep ragged breath, the belt dropping to his lap, and opened his eyes. Both Cas and Dean had never seen such haunted, pain ridden depths in anyone's eyes as they did Sam Winchesters and that was what they saw without Sam having a soul. It briefly occurred to Dean that Sam would feel what he felt now times a hundred once he got his soul back and had to face all those memories of hell that were showing in his eyes right now. He'd have to question Cas about that. For now, he caved and walked to his brother.

"You ok?" Sam just nodded, not sure he could speak.

"Sam ... " Dean started to say something but Sam interrupted him.

"It's ok Dean, I'm fine. Cas what did you find out?" He looked over to Cas and away from Dean. Dean squatted on the floor at his brother's feet cutting away the ropes and watching his brother rise and take a shaky step or two then shake off the entire episode. Dean shook his head.

If the situation had been reversed would Dean had not wanted to feel anything when he came back from hell? He thought back on that question and shook his head again. No, that first breath of fresh air or that first drink of water felt so damn good. Made him feel alive. And his first cheeseburger, oh god it was like a climax after the most amazing sex you'd ever had. And when he'd slid behind the wheel of his baby, and grabbed hold of that steering wheel his co...

"Dean are you having sexual fantasies after just having watched Cas torture me? Cause if so maybe you need a private moment? Or counseling?" Sam said with raised eyebrows. Dean whipped around and looked at both Sam and Cas.

"Uh .. "he was speechless. Wow.

"Never mind, let's get our head back in the game ok?"

Damn, without a soul his brother was a real bitch, and they were so going to have to work on this whole to many Chiefs not enough Indians thing too because last time he'd checked he was ALWAYS in charge. Dean shrugged. Sam was still his little brother and no matter what he'd get his soul back for him, but as he looked at Sam and flexed his knuckles, maybe another ass kicking was just what he needed.


End file.
